A lot.* It’s been a week. I’m still sad. And lonely.**
I never realized how much my life revolved around being there for my little dog. We had our schedule for so long that it was second nature. Without him I’m so out of sorts – I don’t know what to do with myself.
Mostly I miss wanting to be home. I drove around for 3 hours today just because. The house is too quiet.
As much as I haven’t wanted to do anything but sit and feel sorry for myself, I realize the need to make an effort to not just wallow. I’m letting myself be as sad as I want to be***, so long as I’m actually taking care of myself and the business of my life.
So, in an effort to carry on, here is a quick recipe I came up with
Grief Spinach (serves 4)
10 oz fresh spinach, chopped
1 bunch green onions, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
¼ cup white wine
4 oz chevre
2 Tbs butter
salt & pepper to taste
Saute garlic: Heat a large pot over medium heat. Melt the butter and add garlic. Cook until garlic is lightly toasted and starting to brown, about 5 minutes.
Cook spinach: Add the wine to deglaze the pan. Add the spinach and green onions. Cook for just a few minutes until the spinach wilts but is still bright green.
Cheese it up: Remove from heat and add the chevre. Mix until the cheese melts and makes a creamy sauce. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
* Sorry, no picture. Can’t deal with that yet. Looking at pictures just wrecks me.
** Oddly enough reading this makes me feel better.
*** I highly recommend crying like a baby while cutting the grass. Sunglasses hide the tears and the sound of the lawn mower means you can cry as loud as you want and no one will know. Add in the physical activity and you have grief-purging perfection.
**** Note that my ingredients show a lot more garlic, twice as much white wine and sour cream instead of chevre. I tried this recipe a couple of times and what’s listed is what I prefer. The sour cream wasn’t bad though. I think you could even do it with cream cheese.
***** Again, this is a previous version. I didn’t have green onions, so I used on small yellow onion and cooked it with the garlic.